You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
