i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
