I can't watch pbs sober anymore
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
