I just pynch a tree in the face
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Randomize
