my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
