Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
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