Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
They are going to name an STD after you.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
