FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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