guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
