I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Randomize
