Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
