Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
