My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
I love having hate sex.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
3pm strippers are depressing
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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