i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Randomize
