Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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