Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I am spending my child support on dildos
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
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