Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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