i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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