The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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