So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
