I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
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