I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
