Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?�
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
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