Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Help me help you realize you are a moron
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
