I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
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