wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
