Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
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