meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Gay?
German.
Pity.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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