You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Everyone says I win the strip club
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Randomize
