He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
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