you would pick up someone in the library
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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