the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
