Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Randomize
