I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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