You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
you will always have a special place in my vag
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
Randomize
