there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
