So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Randomize
