I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
