somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Randomize
