I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
