We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
