so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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