Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
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