Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
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