Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Randomize
