i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Randomize
