you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Randomize
