u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Randomize
