stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
