She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Randomize
