i was rollin on her like bob the builder
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
