Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
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