therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Randomize
